Friday, April 2, 2010

Evil Dead Prince of Bel-Air by Banjo Fett

The Agoraphobic Reviewer

In honour of JLB’s fine work hither, and anon, here’s the plot of Evil Dead II re-told via the medium of Will Smith’s magnum opus, the theme tune to his TV show Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Now this is a story all about how,
I cut my own hand off but who’s laughing now?
And I’d like to take a minute,
So listen up you primitive screw-heads,
And I’ll tell you how I became the guy who killed the Evil Dead.

In North Carolina, in a cabin in the woods,
In the cellar, was where we found the pages of the book.
Choppin’ up my girlfriend with a chainsaw wasn’t cool,
But me and ol’ double-barrel sure taught those ghouls.

But a couple of demons,
Who were up to no good,
Started swallowing souls in my neighborhood.
I got in one little fight and Bobby Jo got scared,
And she ran into the woods even though I told her to beware.

I whistled to the she-witch, and when it flew near,
I chainsawed off its arms but Annie had the fear,
If anything I could say that this chick was ‘Groovy’,
But I thought ‘Naw, forget it’ and killed the Deadite real smoothly.

I dispatched all the Deadites, there were seven or eight,
So I yelled over to Annie, ‘Yo homes, read the pages!’
But I got sucked into the portal,
With a wacky-angled close-up,
And span through time to end up in Medieval Europe.


If anyone wants to take a crack at actually putting these lyrics to the music, here is a link to an MP3 of the TV theme: Song

Here's the karaoke version:
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - Instrumental Track - Youtube

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